Getting Married

I married shortly after I turned 29 years old which was probably later in age than many men, although it was the same age as my father getting married. Was marriage something I avoided, or lacked personal appeal to women? I think not. In some ways, the reverse was true. I always liked "girls" and, frankly, they liked me. My first encounter with a woman was in grade school. Better to call it an encounter with another child. All I remember was her name was Alice, and it was only a school yard romance. Alice was Polish. For some reason, girls fell off my romance radar screen during junior high school. I became interested in "things" rather than companionship including Boy Friends. It was during this period that I became an Altar Boy at my Parish Church, Our Lady of Mount Carmel which kept me busy. Also, I studied the violin. Music took me into activities like my Jr. High School orchestra, including playing in the All City Youth Orchestra. Girls became of serious interest to me starting in High School. I never had difficulty dating and I did often. Friday evening school dances, or dances at the YWCA, seemed very important at the time, and I seldom missed one. I was very active in High School, including being a class officer which impacted somewhat, on my school work, but I treasure my high school days. Prior to marriage, my only other serious romance occurred while I was in military service. I met a very talented young lady, both in scholarship and social skills, and was an accomplished classical pianist. We dated for a period at the end of my enlistment, and on into our freshmen year in college. But it never worked out. I learned later she became a CPA with her own group practice. She married, had three children, then divorced. Sad. There were other romantic relationships after that, but they were always short-lived. Nothing worked, that is, until I was transferred to Louisiana in early 1958. I had the responsibility of opening up a state office for my employer, the Glens Falls Insurance Company. So, there I was one person, in a new assignment, in a new city for me, Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Shortly after settling into my new circumstances, I started attending services at St. Joseph Catholic Church. I went to the Rectory one day to see the Pastor, Msgr. Lohman, and asked him if there were any activities at St. Joseph that would interest a young man. He told me to go out behind the church and visit with his assistant, Father Jerome Mire who was doing yard work of some sort. I did. Fr. Mire told me that he was thinking of starting a youth group at the parish, and would I be interested in helping him. I said yeas. The Baton Rouge Catholic Youth Organization (CYO) was occupying space in an activity building behind Sacred Heart Catholic Church in Baton Rouge. The Executive Secretary was a young lady, Josie Michelli. We became very close friends. Fr. Mire asked "Josie" to set a date for an organizational meeting for a new youth group. The group's name was to be KYAK, or, Catholic Young Adults Club. The meeting was held one evening and I facilitated the meeting, and later in the meeting to be elected as its first President. At that meeting was Shirley Heine, who would become my wife, and two of her friends, Clare Clack and Fred Bahlinger who would marry too. I have no recollection of noticing Shirley at that meeting. I later learned that Shirley turned to Claire and Fred and remarked that "she liked that guy." Claire is then said to say, "Oh, Shirley, he talks too much." And I do. KYAK was an immediate success. One cleaver facet of its organization was to have something going for almost every day in a given month. One did not have to attend every event. Each event was there if one just felt like doing something. One such event was an after work cocktail (beer) party in the picnic area at Baton Rouge's City Park. How, and I don't know how it happened, but Shirley and I were both there and got talking, and we talked for some time. It was then I did for the first time "notice" Shirley. But that was it. Sometime after that, KYAK held an indoor softball game in the CYO gym. Shirley and I were on opposing teams. I don't remember what position I played, but Shirley was playing third-base. Our team was up to bat, and I was sitting on the third-base sideline when I looked at Shirley. She was wearing peddle-pushers, white tennis shoes, and a purple-like blouse knotted in front at the waist. At that moment, the thought came to me, "My gosh, but that is one good-looking young lady." Seconds later, Shirley made eye contact with me and it was as if she said, "Sam, quit looking. I'm it. You're mine." That was it! I had her telephone number from the KYAK roster, and I called her for a date, which was Sunday, May 11, 1958, and Mother's Day. I picked Shirley up in the afternoon on Mother's Day, meeting Mr. And Mrs. Heine for the first time. Then we went to a late afternoon movie, after which we drove around talking. How else can I say it, but when that day was over, we both knew we were destined to marry, although that certainly never was spoken. We both knew because after we were married and reflecting on our courtship, we confessed to each other, "that we knew." It wasn't too long after that when I asked Shirley to be my wife. She said yes! We were married November 29, 1958. Shirley died in 2012.