Cemeteries

Visiting family member gravesites was part of my childhood. Each cemetery visit was an announced event by my parents, not a casual ramdom visit. Because my childhood years were spent in upstate New York, cemetery visits began in the spring. The first visit was more a visit of maintenance than of prayer although cleaning up family gravesites is in great measure a form of prayer. After that initial Spring visit there may have been at least two more cemetery visits the dates of which usually triggered by some important event, say, Declaration Day which is what today's Memorial Day was called back then. The holiness of cemeteries was something instilled in me by both my family and my Church. Burial upon death is one of life's realities. To Catholics a cemetery is a physical extension of the Parish Church. I found it interesting that in visiting the childhood town in Italy of my parents, Dugenta, one of the first tours given by my family still living there was the cemetery. Connected with my learned observance of the importance of cemeteries were two Italian expressions about burials. These two philosphic expressions gained in importance as I aged because my life lessons proved them true. The first is that "the only asset you take to your grave is your name," the expression of honor. The other is that "your home is where you will be buried." How often do we read where some long-time prominent person in a city, upon death is not buried there but in another city. That choice is not to be viewed as an indictment of betrayal, rather the simple fact that deep down to that person that is where "home" was always meant to be. I lived that truth. I was born and raised in Schenctady, New York. But my home without a doubt is and has been Baton Rouge, Louisiana. And it is in Louisiana where my pre-need grave has already been established, next to my wife of 54 years who predeceased me. I also was witness to this truth about where one's burial home is with my father. In the very early days of Italian immigration some immigrants would return to Italy to live out the remainder of their lives and to be buried in their birth place. I remember proudly how my father would answer when asked about where he was to be buried, "In America, my new home." My work experience as has been noted elsewhere in these relections has been as a corporate turnaround executive, and later as a private consultant and bankruptcy trustee. In 1969 I was reluctantly requested by my boss, Chairman of the Board of our company, I was President, to look over some data of a large cemetery. I believe he was surprised at my eagarness to the task. Months later, a cemetery in a larger city in Mississippi solicited our company through our chairman for financial help. My Chairman remembering my attraction to cemeteries agreed to assist this cemetery provided that Sam Gallo was appointed to a directorship as long as the debt remained outstanding. And that was agreed upon. I remained on the cemetery board well beyond the debt repayment when I became a personal 40% owner. Years later I sold my interest to the 60% partner. That cemetery experience was a happy and rewarding part of my life. Our Chairman was an attorney and principal of a prominent lawfirm that specialized in many areas of law, one being bankruptcy. A local cemetery company was entered in Chapter 11 bankruptcy by the lawfirm, but a trustee was not appointed by the court - no trustee wanted the case. Ugh, cemeteries! My Chairman brought my name before the court as a recommended trustee. Now, almost without exception, bankruptcy trustees are lawyers. Yet, given the circumstance, I was apponted trustee of the cemetery. I sucessfully reorganized that cemetery which was a difficult case. The bankruptcy judge was pleased and I subseqently sucessfully reorganized three more cemeteries for the court. I can also report to have given the consultancy that turned a less than attractive Baton Rouge church cemetery into one that is doing very well today. I offer this final thought about cemeteries. To our young people I ask that they recognize the reality of life's end in burial and to plan for it. And as they grow older, determine where "home" will be for their final resting place. Mine is here: http://shaw-mchughcemetery.org.